CAN women really have it all? The career, the husband, the house, the car and the kids?
To be honest, as a 20-something entering my own new chapter – marriage, not babies! – I often wondered if it could ever be possible. To me, it was either one or the other, never both.
But over the past few weeks I’ve met some amazing Canberra mothers who have big responsibilities at home and at work. And I’m less of a sceptic.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s exhausting just thinking about being a “corporate mum”; the early starts, the packed lunches, the drop-offs, the pick-ups, the sports practice, the swimming lessons, the school assemblies, the parent-teacher interviews, remembering when school holidays start and when they finish, dinner, bathtime, bedtime…
Then there’s work; the internal meetings, the external meetings, the reports, the endless emails, the endless phone calls, the interstate trips, the after-work drinks, the corporate functions…
Do these people eat or sleep?
“It is only natural that they want to continue in some capacity,” she said. “Many women will concur that returning to work is easier than being at home.
“Furthermore, families often require two incomes these days to afford mortgages, cars, and school fees.”
However, she says times are changing and working women are not only preparing themselves much earlier for motherhood but workplaces, too, are gearing themselves towards more flexibility.
“When I was in my mid-20s, we weren’t talking about it. It wasn’t topical, it was not in the papers, we weren’t talking about flexibility and mothers coming back to work,” she says.
“Now workplaces are more geared for parents to come back to work.
“Smart young women are trying to work through the issues…
“Some people who sign up [to careermums.com.au] don’t have children or are not pregnant yet.
“They want to understand what challenges are ahead.”
But what about the kids – how do they feel about having a working mum?
Kate says her own children often ask why a friend’s mum doesn’t work.
“I am happy that my daughter is seeing first hand – without thinking about it – that a family and a career is possible, and my sons see their parents working together as a team to balance work and family,” she says.
Careermums.com.au is one of the country’s leading careers centres and jobs board for working parents and parents returning to work.
Catherine Carter, mum of twins and executive director of the ACT Property Council of Australia
CATHERINE Carter had a successful career at a Commonwealth agency when she was hit with a double whammy – not only was she pregnant, but pregnant with twins.
After a two-year break to spend time with her babies, she got the job at the Property Council.
“I consider my children the best aspect of my life, the best part of me, the best thing that I’ve ever done,” she says.
“I’m fortunate at the same time to have a job and a career which meets other aspirations in my life.”
But she’s quick to admit it’s not easy. “If you want to be successful in your career there is always people supporting you through it. Always,” she says.
“I’ve seen a lot of people in the world of work that live long lives, have very successful careers and then have regretted that they didn’t spent more time with family and friends.
“I don’t intend to be that person. For me, my children absolutely come first.”
FOR Melanie Spilker, it wasn’t a matter of finding the best time to have children but finding the right man.
“I was never one of those people who wanted to settle down and have children,” she says. “But I was 32 when I met my husband and we started trying to have a child straight away.”
Melanie is the state manager of Zenith Interiors, one of the country’s biggest manufacturers and distributors for work and commercial interiors and furniture.
After years of working in sales, she met her husband and soon after they had Sophie, now 4.
“I admire women who stay at home,” she says. “But it wouldn’t be enough for me.”
Her “juggling act” is reliant on efficient time management.
“Selfishness goes; I don’t get time for myself,” she says.
“It’s all about Sophie at home and at work, it’s all about work. I often wonder what I did with all my time.”
“I THINK I am a better person for coming to work, I think I would be a terrible mum if I had to stay at home,” says Ayesha Razzaq, ActewAGL’s general manager – retail.
Ayesha runs ActewAGL’s retail areas in electricity, natural gas, water and wastewater services. She’s also a wife and mum to two boys Sam, 6, and Josh, 3.
“Everyone has the same number of hours in a day, everyone has demands whether you are male or female, a mother or not a mother, and it’s just figuring out what’s important to you,” she says.
Ayesha and her husband, neither of whom have family in Canberra, both have flexibility in their jobs and share the parenting responsibilities.
“I try to be quite pragmatic about it,” she says. “My view is it’s about what works for the family…
“One of the things I am really pragmatic about is kids need both mum and dad, and it’s about sharing and compromise and finding out what’s the best for the family.”
KAREN Nicholas was 21 years old when she moved to Canberra with her husband to work in the public service. Soon after she had her son Tyran.
“We were young and needed the income,” says Karen, who was back at work five and a half months after his birth. “It really wasn’t a choice to be made.”
But that was to be her longest break away from work. After working at her career for nine years and two years into starting her own training business, Learning Options, Karen had daughter Ashleigh. Karen says age definitely made a difference between her first and second child.
“I’m a lot more relaxed, any mum will tell you, you want things to be perfect, and second time around I was much more relaxed…” she says.
“But that comes with maturity as well and comes with age to some degree that you care less what people think of you and how they judge you and more about what is right for you and right for your family.”
“IT’S the hardest job being in a high-flying position as well as being a mum,” says Louise Curtis, owner director of Hamperesque and Lollypotz.
But despite being a mum and managing two businesses, including Lollypotz, which has more than 35 franchises in Australia and NZ and plans to go further across the world, Louise says she feels very fortunate having the best of both worlds.
“I don’t think I have the patience to be a full-time mum,” says Louise.
“I couldn’t do that all the time. I really admire mums that can do that.”
As her children get older, Ben, 7, and Nicholas, 4, Louise says, “It’s harder when kids are at school. I want to be there for everything and I can’t.” But when they are together they value that time the most.
“[Nicholas] doesn’t care what we are doing, as long as we are doing it together,” she says.
“I LIKE working, but I love being a mum,” says Laurie McDonald, who started her business Canberra Furnished Accommodation while on maternity leave with her first child to raise a bit of spare cash.
The concept was simple; furnishing the investment property she owned with her husband and renting it out on a short-term basis. She now has 60 properties on the books.
“If you really enjoy working and you decide not to work and to stay home with the kids, then you aren’t going to be happy with yourself,” she said.
“One of the biggest things we talk about in our family is ‘happy wife, happy life’.
“In the role of mother and wife in the household, you are really mostly accountable for the emotional well being of the family so if you don’t have that right within yourself and you’re not happy and stimulated within yourself you can’t get the right emotional environment for your family.”
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