IF Kevin Rudd manages to cling to power at this upcoming election he’ll become a Labor immortal – the bloke who took the wheel of the Titanic just before it hit the iceberg.
Of course, that’s not going to happen. The Government will suffer a swing against it particularly in NSW and WA, which will result in a clear Coalition win.
Former Liberal minister Amanda Vanstone came up with a great analogy involving Rudd and the carbon tax: the Prime Minister is like the man who pours petrol through your lounge room, sets fire to your house and then casually walks around the block before “arriving” to announce he’s there to put the fire out.
I tend to draw on sporting contests for my analogies; I figure the election is like an international, one-day cricket match. Tony Abbott’s team has batted first and made a big score. Federal Labor has gone in to bat but former captain Julia Gillard has been dismissed early.
She was left stranded by her batting partner Kevin and run out in extraordinary circumstances. More wickets have fallen since then and some of the batsmen just conceded and walked and it leaves the batting side in diabolical strife: six wickets down and needing to score at nine runs an over for the final 20. It’s mathematically possible for them to win, but highly unlikely.
Kevin and his remaining batsmen have to throw caution to the wind and “go the tonk”. That’s why we’ve seen extraordinary backflips, amazing policy formation on the run and general turmoil from the Government. The PNG solution, changing tax regimes in the Northern Territory and feigning movement towards the legalisation of gay marriage… just a few examples of some rather extravagant shots from Rudd and his team.
The final weeks of this campaign should be chock full of entertainment as they open the arms and try to be like Chris Gayle on that memorable Prime Minister’s XI at Manuka Oval.
All Tony Abbott has to do is bowl line and length, send his fieldsman to the boundary and watch the required run rate figures go up on the scoreboard.
Sit back and enjoy the action in the next fortnight because it’s set to be most entertaining.
Mark Parton is the breakfast announcer on 2CC