Christmas carols are playing, the decorations are all about;
The shopping centre’s buzzing and the queues are blowing out.
The Eftpos machine is malfunctioning, the kids are a screaming mess;
The Wii we were supposed to buy is forgotten when the real thing runs down our daughter’s dress.
Cleaned up as best we can, she sits sadly on Santa’s knee;
No smiles in the photo for the in-laws this year, but lucky them, they missed out on the pee.
The car park’s a total jungle where the biggest take the prize;
I wish I had a big SUV so I could just roll over the other guys.
People are so grumpy, everyone’s flipping the bird;
Why do we do this to ourselves? It really is absurd.
The supermarket’s freezers have been raided so there are no turkeys left;
So I grab a turkey roll and some chicken drumsticks. I’m hoping for the best.
With a little artful stitching, frankenbird is born;
The kids are a bit suspicious. Christmas dinner might be a bit forlorn.
Those over achievers down the road have really gone out of their way;
The neighbourhood is ablaze with lights, there are flashing reindeer and an inflatable Santa on his sleigh.
But we can’t remember where we put the Christmas tree, the tinsel, or the lights.
Our annual Christmas shambles seems to be reaching new heights.
I have no idea what to get the in-laws and they live so far away;
If I don’t get their presents in the post, they won’t see them until after Boxing Day.
I bought some lovely cards years ago.
But they’re still in a box, somewhere. Don’t you just love this time of year? Ho, ho, ho!
On Christmas Eve late at night when the children have gone off to slumber;
After we have wrapped the last present, ready for the morning plunder.
My other half and I slump, exhausted and sip a little wine;
And are thankful that it will be 12 months before we again endure Christmas Time!