BULLYING, like many awful things, is a terrible problem still with us because it is unbelievably complicated.

Talkback radio is full of out and out bullies, highly remunerated for treating people awfully. Furthermore, I’ll concede that some bloggers from time to time could be seen to be bullies.

Recently we saw the hideous spectacle of Robin Williams’ daughter having fake autopsy pictures of her father tweeted at her in her hour of grief.

Here in Canberra, a very beautiful but occasionally fragile friend of mine made a habit of posting pictures of herself to the micro-blogging service Tumblr.

A little legion of trolls descended in the comments to tell her she was fat and ugly.

You can almost see the funny side, someone seeking affirmation from the internet getting the exact opposite. It could make a cartoon, maybe even be in a comedian’s skit.

When she attempted self harm it stopped being funny at all. (She’s doing okay these days, I should stress).

The term bullying gets dreadfully misused.

A workplace dud (and let’s be honest, some in the workforce are not giving their best) getting counselled on how to improve performance cries “bully” and a diligent, hard-working manager can find themselves in a world of hurt.

Part of the problem is that real bullying is abuse and all too often those who have been abused feel somehow justified in meting it out to others.

It is oft remarked that people say things online they would never say to someone’s face. But this is not a new thing of the internet. The letters between Sir Thomas More and Martin Luther were as foul as any comment thread the internet has ever known.

Interestingly, the worst trolls on the internet are often either very young or quite elderly. What they have in common is a sense of powerlessness and exclusion.

Online they’re divorced from the immediate consequences of their actions, which makes it even more likely they’ll do something repugnant and regrettable.

But for one moment in their sad, little lives they can reach out and have an effect on someone famous. Or beautiful.

Suddenly they don’t feel so crushingly unimportant in a world that shows no other signs of caring about them.

To make matters worse, online there’s a niche for everyone from a pedophile to a railway enthusiast.

So the little gangs of trolls get together on their message boards and give each other virtual high fives and validate behaviour that in the wider community would be met with revulsion.

Rather than fretting too much about this behaviour it’s probably better to think more about the causes.

People with meaningful relationships with a wide variety of people get a lot of sanity checks along the way.

“Hey check out these pictures I faked up and sent to Robin Williams’ daughter! She totally freaked!”

“Whoooaa there buddy, how would you feel if that was your dad?”

“Oh, wow, I wish I’d thought more about that.”

It would be nice if we could have societies with less unempowered and excluded people in them, which gets a bit tricky when our first reaction is to avoid the creeps and deprive them of influence.

At least we know that if Kyle Sandilands’ lifestyle catches up with him there will be no shortage of suitable replacements.