FINDING the right school isn’t easy, particularly when it comes to a high school.

Our children spend a lot of their lives at school and in that time they learn more than their A-B-Cs. By the time they get to high school they’re learning skills and making choices that will influence their lives for decades to come.

So for more than several months my husband and I, and our soon-to-be teenage son, have been sweating over the question of which high school he might attend next year. Sure, there’s another seven months before the big transition, but decisions have to be made now.

I’ve never been good with choice. Along with a number of our friends, we’ve all been high-school hunting and I’ve found it particularly daunting task. That’s not a reflection on the state of our schools in the ACT, quite the contrary, it’s the range of options available – public versus private, local or the other side of town, religious or not, academic focused or one that might offer more for creative and sporting pursuits.

We’ve done our research. We’ve heard a lot of recommendations by word of mouth. There are also the practical questions of cost and day-to-day logistics.

For some this can be easy – especially if the local high school is close at hand and your tween has friends from their primary school who are going there.

But for many it’s a big challenge to find the high school that might be the best fit. Certainly, nothing beats going and visiting, speaking to the staff and kids, and having a close look around to get the vibe.

That’s what we’ve been doing, even though it has involved quite a few visits, trials and chilly evenings out attending information sessions.

If nothing else, the exercise has help clarify both for us as parents, and for our son, some of the things we’re looking for at a high school.

Above all is a sense that the school is going to look at and value our son as an individual, not just another statistic. Surprisingly, one can sometimes get a sense of this pretty quickly. At some schools the interview process is brief, mainly a question of ticking off boxes on a checklist.

At others it’s been a much more intensive process, a real in-depth exchange as we got to chat with the teachers and senior staff and get a really good sense of what the school has to offer.

At one school in particular the principal engaged our son brilliantly, giving a great exposition of the school’s priorities and values while really getting the measure of our young man.

Though I think we’re now pretty confident about where our boy is going, it’s a big milestone in family life.

It seems like only yesterday I started writing in this column about the dramas of new motherhood with my squawking bundle who wouldn’t sleep, wouldn’t feed, and who had Houdini’s gift for escaping from everything from his nappies, his cot and the car-safety capsule. Now he’s nearly as tall as me and getting ready for high school. How time flies.