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Canberra Today 22°/24° | Friday, March 29, 2024 | Digital Edition | Crossword & Sudoku

Lifestyle / Trapped in the Sandwich Generation

JANE was at her wits end when I first met her.

Rita Merienne
Rita Merienne.

She was a long-distance carer for her mother, who was in an aged-care facility. And at home, Jane was raising her teenage children and working full time.

Her husband didn’t understand the demands that were being put on her and she was being torn apart emotionally.

Wanting to do the best for everyone and putting herself last, she was having to talk to lawyers about her brother’s actions that were financially based and bordering on abuse of their mother.

Jane had unwittingly become a member of the Sandwich Generation; the generation of people who are caring for their ageing parents while still raising their children and working full time. 

Not knowing who to turn to she was frantic and making herself ill – now she had to deal with unplanned absenteeism, too. She never thought it would be so difficult and she didn’t have anyone to talk to.

“Because this is a relatively new phenomena, all players are confused about what their role should be,” says Dr. Linda Duxbury, of the Sprott School of Business, Carleton University, Ottawa. 

“Those in the ‘middle’ feel guilt and uncertainty about the level of care; people feel reluctant to pay someone else to care for their parents and  employers do not appreciate the extent to which this issue can cause  problems for employees.” 

For Jane, guilt played a major part as she felt that she and her brother should be working together with their mother’s best interest at heart.

Having someone to talk to who understood the emotional side of aged care and having access to resources was one of the reasons Jane was able to get her life back on track, sorting through all the issues and learning about guilt-free caring.

This generational problem is unlikely to be a short-term one with longevity increasing, which means the number of “fragile” elderly is increasing.

It’s not that previous generations were immune to this issue, it did occur but not in large numbers. Now it is an ever increasing issue and affecting workplaces and homes throughout Australia.

Becoming a part of the Sandwich Generation can affect financial status,  personal time, health and career development.  

It affects males and females, although traditionally females have been responsible for providing physical care and males for providing financial support. This has changed over the past few years and males and females are providing both physical and financial support for their aged loved ones.  

It doesn’t matter if you are caring for your aged loved one in your home, their home or an aged-care facility it really is a very tough situation. We are an ageing workforce caring for an ageing population.

According to the 2015 Intergenerational Report, the number of Australians aged 65 and over is projected to more than double by 2054-55, with one in 1000 people projected to be aged over 100. In 1975, this was one in 10,000.

A 2015 Deloitte report says that more than one in eight Australians (2.86 million people) are estimated to be providing informal care of which 825,000 informal carers are “primary carers”, that is people who provide the majority of a recipient’s care.

Knowing where to find help can be difficult as we found when my sisters and I were on the caring journey. It is an area that is wanting in Australia. Yes, there is assistance from various associations such as Alzheimer’s Association, Cancer Council and specific-condition associations but there is no organisation that deals with the emotional side of aged care.

The government site MyAgedCare has some resources and contacts for counsellors.

One of the top tips for the Sandwich Generation is building resilience, taking care of yourself and sharing experiences. You are not alone, ask for help.

Rita Merienne is the co-founder of the Canberra-based advisory service Aged Care With Ease. Contact her on 0414 491764 or at agedcarewithease@gmail.com 

 

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