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I ACTUALLY scored a job interview last week. I could hardly believe it.
A real live job interview at which I would finally have the opportunity to sit across a desk from a real live person looking to hire someone.
And with a live person to whom I could sell myself as a trustworthy, reliable, affable, resourceful, self-motivated, dependable, physically and mentally robust, team player and most importantly, extremely humble human being.
After working in a dozen commercial radio stations in five states and a territory over more than three decades, I’d only had one or two job interviews. But now, out of the “radio game” and unemployed, the job interview is something still foreign to me. But finally I had scored one.
Ordinarily, “Captain Cynical” would be screaming at the top of his sceptical lungs: “Something is not right here, digger.” But, no, I thought, finally, I have been deemed worthy of an interview.
Turns out Captain Cynical was right, again. Smug bastard.
You see dudes like me, the over 50s (I’m 62), simply don’t get non-radio job interviews. If we are lucky – and I mean lucky – we get the unoriginal and lame bullshit response along the lines of : “Due to the overwhelming response in applications, we regret to advise other candidates’ skills and experience more closely match our requirements, therefore we are unable to offer you an interview in this instance.”
The job vacancy for which I’d scored this game-changing interview was a casual yard worker at a recycling yard. I could do that, I thought. I’m fit, strong and can get to work on time. Idiot. I’m “over qualified”, apparently.
It didn’t take long for cynicism to take hold as old mate conducting the “interview” was clearly from the old school.
Introductions over, the interview became a “walk-as-we-talk” affair.
He opened with the zinger: “We just wanted to see you to make sure you had two arms and two legs”. Then quickly moved to: “I’m concerned you are over qualified.”
As I was processing whether my adequate allocation of limbs ticked the right selection-criteria boxes, he slaps me down with his take on my physical attributes for the role suggesting I might be soft “after sitting on your arse in a radio studio all day”!
I didn’t get the job. The official reason in the rejection email I was grateful to receive was the usual bullshit along the usual lines: “Overwhelming response in applications… other candidates’ skills and experience more closely match our requirements”.
Why was I granted an interview for a job which attracted scores of applications when my resume suggested I was “over qualified”?
Maybe old mate wasn’t a fan of my radio show, which finished almost three years ago.
So it’s back to the (unemployed) drawing board and to truncating my “qualifications-free” resume. And to maybe lose a limb or two to make myself more employable.
When he isn’t applying for jobs, Mike Welsh writes a blog at thebigsmoke.com.au