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Canberra Today 13°/16° | Friday, March 29, 2024 | Digital Edition | Crossword & Sudoku

Coleman / The things they do for stunts  

THERE are several definitions in my Macquarie dictionary for the word stunt. The shortest is: “Anything done to attract publicity.”

Chris Coleman
Chris Coleman.

I’m on the record as having a dislike of political stunts performed for the sake of what – for the want of a better word – we shall now call “stuntery”.

Perhaps we need to have that word added to the dictionary:

Stuntery n. an activity, usually performed by a political figure or aspiring political figure, to distract an electorate’s attention from genuine politics” [Origin, Canberra radio station 2CC, 2017.]

But I digress… You don’t have to delve too far into the records of this very journal to find proof of my dislike of stuntery.

But look at what we’ve had offered by our elected officials in recent weeks:

  • A lump of coal (lacquered, by the way, so as not to stain the fingers of those who touched it) passed around the government benches with glee in Question Time in Federal Parliament.
  • A small solar panel waved around by the Federal Greens in response, an act replicated in the ACT Legislative Assembly in its first sitting week for the year.
  • And the Chief Minister referring to the Shadow Attorney General’s “bearded hipster guise” at the behest of a radio interview. Followed by a performance where he skulled a beer at the cricket after similar urgings.

Please, don’t get me wrong; I’m not averse to politicians having a bit of fun. They’re only human (or at least bear a passing resemblance to being human). But what do any of the above activities do to actually improve the level of debate and/or government? I’m at a loss to come up with a result other than nothing, although I would accept “very little” at a pinch.

Some people subscribe to Oscar Wilde’s words: “The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.” Is this true?

Let’s return to the lump of coal. Time will tell, but you can almost guarantee that when next there’s a debate about a winery, a horse stud, or a food production area being dug up for a coal mine, the pictures will be rolled out.

The solar panels? The National Museum may want them to include in a future exhibit on how political parties lose their way going for froth instead of beer.

And as for skulling a beer? Sure, Bob Hawke is famous for his downing beers in record time as a union figure, but he didn’t do it during his time as PM. For most – if not all – his time in office, he was officially on the wagon.

In short, there’s a time and a place for stunts, but it’s a very short time, and a very small place. Politicians need to be extra careful, lest they be remembered for their stunts instead of their policy.

If you still need convincing, allow me to conclude with two images: Alexander Downer and a pair of fishnet stockings.

Chris Coleman is the drive announcer on 2CC.

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