Review / ‘Father Figures’ (MA) No stars

THIS is cinematographer Lawrence Sher’s directing debut. Its writer Justin Malen’s third feature. The TV and feature film productions on which this pair have cut their teeth (not together) are best summarised as unmemorable potboilers.

Ed Helms plays Peter, a GP who makes me appreciate my GP all the more. Owen Wilson plays his ne’er-do-well twin brother Kyle. Today their mother Helen is getting married. She tells the twins that the father whom they believed dead is in fact still alive.

The film follows the twins seeking out the men who might have sired them, guys with fond memories of teenaged Helen’s sexual enthusiasms and performance qualities – nudge, nudge, wink, wink. But they deny being responsible for siring the twins.

At the beginning of her eighth decade, Glenn Close still looks good and playing Helen doesn’t stretch her skills. Playing a petty crim, one of the putative fathers, the usually admirable JK Simmons was a disappointment not because of his performance but of the quality of the writing to which he was trying to bring to life.

After 70 minutes, having seen nothing in “Father Figures” to admire or that made me laugh or even smile, I did the sensible thing and went home.

Until three months before release, this film was called “Bastards”. ‘Nuf said.

At Hoyts Belconnen

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