MALE strippers, penis-shaped straws, groups of loud, drunk women wearing matching pink tutus and the bride-to-be in a small veil pinned to her head…

We’ve all seen it; the hens’ party – the big night out with the girls for the last hoorah.

Traditionally, it was the groomsmen that would throw the groom a big buck (or stag) party. Then, for a while, women began outdoing their male counterparts. But times are changing again.

However, when Patricia Cupit, 74, was married in 1957 things were very different.

“I had a pre-wedding party, because I was only having a small wedding,” Mrs Cupit said.

“My father-in-law was a well-known solicitor in Sydney and he wanted to introduce me to his friends and clients.”

Held in the evening at her father-in-law’s home, refreshments included drinks served with  “very naughty” pastries.

“It was the year after television came to Australia,” she said. “So people were more interested in the TV than in me.”

When it was her daughter, now-54-year-old Robyn Rissanen’s turn to get married in 1979, it was less about the introduction to her groom’s family and more about spending time with the women in her life.

Robyn’s best friend and sister threw her a “kitchen tea” at home, where they played word games and talked about married life.

“Guests would give you what you needed for the kitchen,” Mrs Rissanen said.

“I invited people who weren’t invited to the wedding from my church.

However, 33 years later, it was Mrs Rissanen’s daughter Natalie’s turn. And for Miss Rissanen, now Mrs Brideson, 27, it was definitely no kitchen tea.

“The bucks seem to always have a wild night, and I wanted to be a bit wild, too,” Natalie said.

“There’s a whole stigma around it, and an excuse; you can get away with [being wild] without being shunned.”

For Natalie, her pre-wedding celebrations were divided into two events – a bridal shower to cater for the older women in her life and a hens’ weekend for the younger women.

And although she was showered in gifts at her bridal shower, it was her hens’ weekend that was the “perfect girls’ weekend”.

Planned by her bridesmaids, Natalie gave them one instruction and that was “mardi gras”.

About 25 women travelled to Sydney with the theme for the weekend – Victoria’s Secret angels.

“It gave me a chance to hang out with all my friends in one weekend,” she said. “Uni friends, high school friends and friends from church.

“At Mardi Gras – we didn’t get hit on, we just had fun.

“It was a big party setting, all of us were dressed in the same thing and it was nice to be noticed.”

According to Stephanie Norton from Canberra-based Shampagne Wedding Planning, there’s been a shift away from the “last hoorah” of bar hopping and strippers, and a move towards weekends away with close friends.

“It has now moved towards the celebration of getting married and a chance for a getaway with your closest friends,” she said.

She said hens’ and bucks’ events are evolving into a holiday-based weekend, where people have travelled as far as Cairns.

“Couples have swapped roles – the men go off with their friends for a weekend at a day spa and the girls have a day of golf,” she said.

Stephanie said she has found couples are also getting younger and can’t always afford a big hens’ or bucks’ night, a wedding and a honeymoon, so are using their pre-wedding events to tackle a lot of the traditional elements in one.

“I’m welcoming the changes,” she said.

Caption: Three generations of “hens” , from left, Robyn Rissanen, Natalie Brideson and Patricia Cupit. Photo by Silas Brown.