LOOKING back, Chris Murphy says he was “in a very, very dark place” five years ago.

“Back then, I would literally look the opposite to now,” says the enthusiastic, eloquent 19-year-old.

“I would wear nothing but black, I barely smiled. Honestly, if you’d have caught me five years ago, I would have been closed off and I would have barely said a word to you.”

Chris says he didn’t fit in at school and was “bullied from the word go”, which led to serious depression and anxiety. He describes his younger self as an angry kid with no moral compass and no respect for rules, or for others. “Oh yeah, I used to get in trouble – lying, cheating, anything – I used to do tons of stuff,” he says.

It almost sounds like he’s talking about a different person. It’s just a little hard to believe this engaging, confident young man was ever really in danger of going off the rails.

The point, which he takes great pains to reinforce, is that he doesn’t think he would have grown into the mature, friendly young chap he is, if it weren’t for the guidance of his friend and mentor Trevor McGrath, who he met through the non-profit group Menslink.

Mentoring programs are run all over the country and try to link teenage boys like Chris with good male role models, who they first meet in an informal, no-pressure situation. According to Menslink CEO Martin Fisk, the choice is often mutual, but at the end of day, “absolutely in the mentee’s control”.

Chris says his dad left before he was born, and that he only sees him occasionally, “…but that’s neither here nor there”, he quickly adds, preferring to focus on how much he enjoyed the mentoring program, and the positive effect Trevor has had on his life.

He talks about the “link-ups” organised by Menslink, which involve wholesome, boyish activities such as camping, abseiling, flying foxes, surfing and billy cart races.

“All the cliched stuff you see on TV with a son and a dad – that’s literally what Menslink does, and it’s also good to hang out with people of your age that are like you.”

The formal program runs for two years, but Chris enjoyed it so much that he volunteered to support the organisation, partly so he could keep doing the activities.

With the example set by Trevor, he is now taking on the world with the unbowed optimism you would expect to see in a 19-year-old. He’s just moved out of home and is looking for a job in hospitality, inspired by his mentor, who was a chef at The Lodge when they met and now owns a cafe in Dickson.

“There’s a great sense of pride in seeing Chris grow and learn, and grow up into a young man,” says Trevor. “It’s very rewarding to be involved in the organisation and directly connected to this young guy… It’s great to be able to just catch up and hear his stories, hear about his life challenges and offer advice, to listen and just be privileged in that position.”

More information about mentoring at menslink.org.au