“I am one of those tragic mums who sometimes can’t wait for the children to go to bed, but then spend my time looking at photos of them!” writes “Mummy” columnist KATE MEIKLE.  

AS Elsa sang in Disney’s Frozen movie “Let It Go”, the longer I’m a parent, the more the journey of parenthood I am finding involves one long series of little “let it gos”. 

And as much as it is rewarding, it is also heartbreaking to let go of our little ones, step by step as they grow in their independence from us.  

“Our children are not our own”, as my dad said in his speech at my wedding. 

“They are only loaned to us for a little while.”

These words ring bittersweetly true as I nostalgically swipe through photos of the kids on my phone at night after they have gone to bed (yes, I am one of those tragic mums who sometimes can’t wait for the children to go to bed, but then spend my time looking at photos of them!). I honestly can’t believe how little they were. 

The let-gos have seen so many little milestones along the way, celebrated happily for the most part. 

The freedom of having older children and being out of the baby zone is a huge moment of letting go. Letting go of equipment, nap time, baby routines, baby proofing and all the things that go with having a little one in the house. 

The glorious moment when both kids are finally out of nappies and you no longer need to cart around “disaster bags” of clothes, wipes, and provision for every contingency and accident that might occur, is incredibly liberating. 

I have just realised this year has been the year that the pram has not been used at all, either! Being a “no-pram” family after six years is a big let go.    

But it isn’t just the “stuff” that we let go. It’s those little rituals that become part of your family life, until suddenly they don’t need to be done anymore. 

When did we suddenly stop having to wipe bottoms? When was the last time we had to sing “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” as part of the bedtime routine? 

When will be the last time our kids hold our hands to cross the road? When will be the last time they cuddle in bed with us in the mornings? 

Some of these let gos will be hard to bear! It is the sweet heartbreak of being a parent. 

Our son still requests “five minutes in the big-boy bed” to my husband before he falls asleep, it just means that my husband lies on the floor for a little while before he goes to sleep. 

The ritual is called that because when he was almost three he reluctantly transitioned out of his cot into the “big-boy bed”, daddy used to lie with him in the bed to reassure him. His little sister was bursting out of the bassinet so it was time for the toddler to let go of his cot. But we still call it “five minutes in the big-boy bed” every night. 

Our daughter, the “boss baby” of the family has somehow got us into the nightly habit of carrying her down the hallway to brush her teeth. She declared she’s too tired to walk anymore and like the little queen that she is, she orders a ride in our arms from us each night. 

We, like the dupes we are, dutifully comply. Trust me, with her, it’s just not worth the fight sometimes. 

But the other day, as she was hitching a ride down the hall and I was struggling to carry her, I had the dawning revelation that she is now four and a half and there should not be any reason why we are still carrying her. 

As the tallest in her class at preschool, she’s not a little one anymore! 

I also remembered that I stopped picking up our son when I was pregnant with the boss baby so he’s been walking himself to the bathroom since he was two. 

For the sake of our backs, it’s definitely time to let that go.  

It’s an obvious comment, but we all make it when we see little ones: “Wow, you’ve grown so much!” and after catching up with friends in Sydney recently after a long time between visits it feels that is the one thing we all remarked about each other’s kids. 

It’s inevitable and obvious but so very hard to comprehend at the same time, when you see the incredible development that happens to our kids playing out in front of our adoring eyes. 

The difference between my son, having finished his first year of kindergarten during a year we will never forget, and the image of his cute little face singing at his preschool Christmas concert only a year before is amazing. Reading for the first time is a leap that has brought independence, a huge expansion in his knowledge of how to navigate different social situations and friendship groups. He’s also become more of a lanky, long-legged boy and lost his baby face with two huge adult front teeth. 

Walking him into the school yard at the beginning of the year and watching the children line up then walk into their classrooms was a thrill. He used to want me to stay for support. 

Now, he’s a “drop off” student, literally running to make it to the front of the line every morning. He loves it! He now has his own life outside of me. 

I don’t know all of his friends or know all their parents the way I did in preschool, I don’t know a lot of what he does each day at school. I now have to trust that he can handle things himself. Eeek. What a big let go! 

When we hosted his birthday party last month, we offered parents the “drop-and-run” option if they felt comfortable. Happily, each parent accepted the offer; the gift of some time to themselves rather than standing around and watching as we normally would have. 

It was interesting to see their faces of a little bit of guilty pleasure mixed with a bit of trepidation when they headed off. Their kids? They were absolutely fine, no looking back as they joined their friends and started playing party games. 

Maybe some of the parents felt a let-go moment when they left their kids, maybe they sighed a little sigh of relief, or maybe they spent the time sitting in their cars, looking at their kids’ photos on their phones and saying: “Oh, they have grown so much”, like I would have!