When it comes to the word “muppet”, there are various descriptors, but they all seem to lead to one place, says “Seven Days” columnist IAN MEIKLE.

IN Australian slang, a “muppet” is defined as an “incompetent or foolish person”; the UK definition colourfully expands this to “idiot” and “plonker”.

Breakfast radio announcer Stephen Cenatiempo, on 2CC, is no wilting violet in his use of angry adjectives and prickly verbs, and is given – frequently – to dismissing the ACT government collectively and individually as muppets.

It was confronting when I first heard him use it, but as the months since the last ACT election grind interminably on and we live with this cloth-eared government’s nation-leading worst hospital waiting times, shocking levels of homelessness, heartlessness in social housing, the toxic prison and its cruel treatment of indigenous people, I’m starting to see Stephen’s point.

For instance, in recent days Health Minister Rachel Stephen-Smith was veritably spinning with excitement at the presence of two cranes on the site of the long-overdue $624 million Canberra Hospital Expansion. 

Careful reading of former chief minister Jon Stanhope’s relentless columns in “CityNews” on the abysmal state of ACT health spending remind us that this expansion is already undercooked for the future needs of the territory. The government is building a sop to a problem it shamefully sidestepped for a decade, more recently reefing millions out of our health system, to throw at their obsessive tram plans. 

There was the usual forelocking tugging to the unions with the minister blah-blahing about 500 construction jobs “helping to turbo-charge the territory’s economic recovery from COVID-19”. Stop laughing.

And the muppet moment, Stephen? Rachel says Canberrans can help “Name the Cranes” (seriously) by voting on the shortlist of 10 suggestions (Crane McCraneface, anyone?). 

To be fair, the competition is something those poor bastards stuck in a public-health surgical queue or sleeping in the back of their cars could use their time thinking about, Minister. The rest of us would like less muppetry. 

FOR months I have been taking photos of new-age, covid litter – the face mask. I’ve snapped them in Lake Burley Griffin, in parks, suburbs, roads and footpaths, always transfixed by the two things that have consistently occurred; one, they’ve been discarded and two, they are always socially distanced from any other litter.

But here’s a sobering statistic: in 2020, more than three billion single-use masks were thrown out across the globe every day.

However, locally, Clean Up Australia Day volunteers have been tallying the number of face masks removed from the environment to give us some idea of the problem’s size in Australia.

Pip Kiernan, chair of Clean Up Australia, says there’s no doubt the amount of plastic waste has been surging because of the pandemic. But there’s no data to confirm the number of face masks in the environment.

She says plastics in disposable masks can take up to 450 years to break down and that research tells us littered single-use masks could be releasing chemical pollutants and nano-plastics into the environment. “Over the past two years there have been disturbing cases of seabirds and wildlife found tangled up in carelessly discarded single-use face masks,” she says.

“We can’t cover up the problem – now is the time to act. Our environmental issues have not gone away because of covid, rather they have escalated because of the mountain of rubbish we’ve created.”

IN a poignant collision of circumstances, I need to share a background story about the piece on Page 3 (“Son’s poetic salute to Steve Doszpot”). Adam Doszpot is raising funds for the Cancer Council by entering, with a mate, in the upcoming Shitbox Rally through outback SA. His father, Steve, a good friend of mine, was a dedicated MLA from 2008 until he sadly died from liver cancer in 2017. 

A couple of months ago, Steve’s granddaughter, Issy Doszpot, a talented graphic design graduate, joined the “CityNews” team. 

Through her, I heard about Adam’s plans and set reporter Lily Pass on to the story. Issy was assigned to take the accompanying photos of her dad and the car, which is unusual in this business. 

More unusual was that Issy also made up the page featuring her father, her picture and her grandad. She did it perfectly. 

Ian Meikle is the editor of “CityNews” and can be heard on the “CityNews Sunday Roast” news and interview program, 2CC, 9am-noon. There are more of his columns on citynews.com.au