KEEPING UP THE ACT shares some important questions to ask your local candidates as we get closer to the ACT election…

ACT LABOR

1. How many years should one party be in power before it is not healthy for democracy? Gough Whitlam said 23 years in his famous “It’s Time” campaign, but just wondering what you think?
2. We’re all a bit of a klutz at times, but can Chris Steel please be stopped from touching things? Either that, or can you garnishee his expensive “learnings” from his pay? 
3. With no sightings of him for the last 20 years, is Mick Gentleman real or is he Labor’s version of the Yowie or BigFoot?
4. Given the ACT sits at the bottom of the national league table on health, education, and housing affordability, and at the top of the league table in taxes, debt and undelivered promises, can we switch these tables around? Y’know, like those house-flipping shows. 

Bonus Prompt: CFMEU! Just blurt it out and see whether the candidate gives a nervous laugh, changes the topic or runs faster than Usain Bolt. 

THE GREENS

1. When you say the ACT government should be doing something, do you mean yourselves? 
2. Okay, okay, let me see if I’ve got this straight? All of the good stuff that has occurred in the last decade is due to The Greens and all the bad stuff is due to Labor? But then isn’t Shane the Attorney-General, Minister for Gambling and Minister for Energy? And isn’t Rebecca Vassarotti the Minister for Housing and Homelessness? And isn’t Emma Davidson the Minister for Community Services and Mental Health? And haven’t all those portfolios been shockers? Guys, I’m truly trying to work with you on this but, help me, what am I missing here? 
3. Do some of your policies take more tokes on the bong than others? 
4. If I buy a pure EV car, I’m basically supporting either Elon Musk or Xi Jinping. Which environmentally-friendly despot is better? 

Bonus Prompt: Kangaroo Cull! Slip it into the conversation and see whether the candidate looks to their shoes, mumbles that it is humane, or defiantly yells, “those hoppy bastards attacked Shane!” 

CANBERRA LIBERALS

1. You’ve been going on about how the ACT Government’s finances are in the toilet. How will you unblock our debt-ridden dunny without backing up a crap-load of financial pain on Canberrans? And can you answer my question without blustering that you can’t say anything until you know the true state of the ACT economy?
2. Maybe it’s me, but why can’t I get excited by anything you guys have to offer? And this is coming from a low base with the current lot. 
3. If elected, what is the timetable for your first political scandal? 
4. Your Young Liberals are a bit of a worry with all of their jingoistic fervour about getting kids to pledge allegiance to Australia every day and having tax cuts for people who put Australian flags on their lawns. Are the Young Liberals actually young or are you tricking us and it’s really Zed and Eric Abetz in short pants? 

Bonus Prompt: Zed! Say it to see whether the candidate jumps, blushes or goes all gooey-eyed. 

INDEPENDENTS

1. Oh, God, am I hoping that you bring some intelligence and competence to the ACT Government. And yet… Well, the current parties are telling me that you’re either a Labor stooge, a Liberal stooge or a Green stooge, depending on who I ask. Are you a stooge for the… Actually, scrub that. Given the stooges we’ve got, how soon can you start?