POSSESSION of a brain is almost over-qualification for seeing this joyously ramshackle, violent, good-guys-versus-villains fantasy written by Sylvester Stallone (pictured) and directed by Simon West, of the kind that I enjoyed as an adolescent who knew no better.

In fact, leaving the brain on the laundry shelf to cool off while venturing forth to watch it is not the stupidest thing that you might do. An adolescent who knew no better might have written its escapist plot, full of big boys’ toys, which a main cast of performers most known for the size and tension of their deltoids, biceps and pecs, brandish and make go bang with improbable frequency and better accuracy than do minor villains who lie dead in windrows after every skirmish!

The plot is not all that fresh. In an abandoned mine lie five tonnes of weapons-grade plutonium that its owners have forgotten! But the CIA and a group of really bad guys both want it. The CIA engages the seven expendables to go in and get it and obliges the chief expendable to let a woman tag along because she’s a scientist and trained agent with good fighting skills.

Don’t say you haven’t been warned. There are worse movies around. There must be!

At Dendy, Hoyts and Limelight.