WHENEVER I came home from school in tears over some incident with a classmate, my mum would always quote the old saying: “Sticks and stones will break your bones but words will never hurt you”.

There’s truth in this, but we all know that words can really hurt.

I still remember being in grade five and confiding to my best friend that I was adopted. She promised, hand on heart, to tell no-one. It was all around the school within the hour and girls I thought were my friends, were calling me a bastard, saying there had to be something wrong with me if my own mother hadn’t wanted me, and that they didn’t want to play with me anymore.

I was devastated and alienated; and the bullying and abuse went on for months. I would go to the library every lunchtime just to get away from everyone. This experience did contribute to my love of books and reading, and eventually someone else became the target for bullying and my stigma faded. But I had learnt my lesson well – from then, I kept my secrets to myself.

These days, it’s even more challenging for our kids. Thanks to social media, many young people are putting more and more of their lives up on the internet. At the same time, cruel words once confined to the playground, can be posted on the web for the world to see.

A lot has been written about cyber bullying, especially in response to cases where victims have been driven to self-harm and, indeed, suicide. Part of it can be blamed on the anonymity of the web. Where once people just ranted and raved in the privacy of their own homes, now they can broadcast worldwide with little fear of consequences.

For parents, one solution might be to keep your child off social media, but as they get into their teens that’s pretty near impossible. Another, more realistic, path is educating your child or teen about the opportunities and risks of the internet and building their resilience.

We also need to work hard at explaining the dangers of revealing too much personal information to strangers on the web.

Kids often like to keep secret diaries or journals. But putting the same thoughts and personal information in a blog or twitter feed carries real risk.

Most importantly, something ought to be done about the bullies. Shouldn’t the people responsible for cyber bullying be the ones named, shamed and stigmatised?

Shouldn’t there be some serious repercussions for people who feel free to publicly defame, intimidate or harass others? The social media phenomenon is still very new and society needs to build up some stronger expectations and, indeed, rules about respectful conduct and civility on the web.