CLIVE WILLIAMS offers up a column to sink your teeth into and explains why it’s best not to use them to open bottles! 

FIFTY years ago, many older people had their natural teeth replaced by dentures – dentures being removable frames holding artificial teeth. Both my mum and dad had dentures by the time they reached middle age (around 40 years of age in the 1950s). 

Natural teeth are composed of calcium, phosphorus, and other minerals. The pulp is the “nerve centre” of a tooth. It contains blood vessels, nerves, and connective tissue. The pulp is surrounded by dentin (the main part of the tooth) that, in turn, is covered by enamel. Enamel is the hardest substance in the body, but unlike bone tissue it can’t regenerate or repair itself. 

In the past, even the wealthy lacked natural teeth by the time they reached their 40s. President George Washington had several sets of false teeth, including at least one with slave teeth. None of his sets – contrary to popular belief – was made from wood. The set he wore when he became president (aged 57) was carved from hippopotamus and elephant ivory, held together with gold springs. 

Why do we need teeth? Well, the main purpose of our teeth is to mechanically break down items of food by cutting and crushing it in preparation for swallowing. 

To do the job, we have four types of teeth: incisors, canines, premolars, and molars. Each has a specific function: incisors cut the food, canines tear the food, and premolars and molars crush it. Incisors are at the front of your mouth, canines are next, and premolars and molars are towards the back of your mouth. 

Humans, like other mammals, develop two sets of teeth. The first human set of 20 normally appears around six months of age. Permanent teeth start to appear between the ages of six and seven. By the age of 21, the average person has 32 permanent teeth – 16 in the upper jaw and 16 in the lower jaw. Wisdom teeth are usually the last four (molars) to appear. 

Tooth decay and cavities are caused by a combination of factors, including damage to the enamel, bacteria in your mouth, frequent snacking, sugary drinks, and not cleaning your teeth properly. Methamphetamine users will end up with teeth that are blackened, stained, rotting, crumbling and falling apart. 

In the past, most dentists filled cavities with dental amalgam, which is a mixture of liquid mercury and a powdered alloy of silver, tin and copper. While amalgam is hard-wearing, it cracks teeth due to the expansion and contraction differential and, according to my holistic dentist, eventually starts to break down and release mercury into your body. In 1996 I got him to remove all my amalgam fillings and replace them with porcelain ones. 

Today, fillings can be gold, porcelain, tooth-coloured plastic, or composite resin. Amalgam is still used in Australia although the European Union is moving to ban its use for health and environmental reasons. 

My dentist also told me I needed a crown. I thought to myself: “At last, someone who recognises my true potential.” (Actually, he meant a dental crown that fits over a damaged tooth.) 

Most Western cultures value the appearance of one’s front teeth. TV stars invariably have perfectly spaced, dazzling white teeth mounted in a Ken or Barbie body. Most of the rest of us have slightly stained but otherwise presentable teeth in a more normal-shaped body. 

Close-up television interviews have made us all more conscious of people’s teeth and it’s distracting when a speaker has an unsightly set of front teeth. Smiling with no teeth is decidedly Third World. 

In a major disaster – such as the 2004 Asian tsunami – bodies can degrade quickly beyond visual recognition, particularly in the tropics. Fortunately, everyone with natural teeth has a unique set – meaning that most of us can be positively identified by our dental records. 

It’s obviously important to take good care of one’s teeth with regular brushing and flossing. Only masochists enjoy dental drilling, but it’s essential for your overall health to keep on top of decay and cavities. 

Finally, apropos cavities – a dentist looks into a patient’s mouth and exclaims: “That’s the biggest cavity I’ve ever seen, I’ve ever seen.” 

“I heard you the first time,” said the patient. “You didn’t need to repeat it.”

“I didn’t,” said the dentist. “That was an echo.” 

 Clive Williams is a Canberra columnist