“The current 12-hour system is idiotic. Fortunately, it would not often be the case that 12 midday would be confused with 12 midnight.,” writes Whimsy columnist CLIVE WILLIAMS. 

“Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately, it kills all its pupils.” –Hector Berlioz

Somebody should start a movement to do away with am and pm. Have you wondered at the apparent illogicality of 11am being followed by 12pm and 11pm being followed by 12am? 

By the way, “am” stands for “ante meridiem”, a Latin phrase meaning “before midday”, while “pm” stands for “post meridiem”, meaning “after midday”. 

On the 12-hour clock, 12pm is considered to come after the meridiem so the next minute is 12.01pm with the next hour being 1pm. This confusion is avoided with the 24-hour clock where it would be expressed as 1201 with the next hour being 1300.

In the case of the end of the day, 11pm is followed by 12am or midnight where the clock goes from 12am to 12.01am. With the 24-hour clock 12.01am is 0001.

Military forces all use the 24-hour time system to avoid confusion. The current 12-hour system is idiotic. Fortunately, it would not often be the case that 12 midday would be confused with 12 midnight. 

However, I was at a conference in the US and one of the other delegates suggested we play tennis at 5.30. I agreed, thinking that he meant 5.30pm. Many Americans get up at incredibly uncivilised times. Fortunately, he went on to say that we should have breakfast afterwards, so it clicked that he meant post-dawn. That was the last time I played early morning tennis. 

Another complaint I have is about how the date is written. American civilians put the date in the order of Month/Day/Year (MM/DD/YYYY) which can cause confusion as most of the rest of the world uses the Day/Month/Year format (DD/MM/YYYY). 

The use of the MM/DD/YYYY format in the US has historical and cultural roots\ having been used since colonial days. This format likely evolved from the way dates were spoken in English. For instance, people would say “July 4th, 1776,” which naturally leads to the month-day-year order when written in numbers.

Early American printed materials, including newspapers and official documents also used the month-day-year format. Once this practice was established in printed media, it became standard practice and has persisted. In American English, dates are still spoken in the month-day-year order (eg, “December 25, 2024”).

There is occasional US use of the international ISO 8601 date format (YYYY-MM-DD) in contexts requiring clarity and standardisation, such as in computing and international communications. (ISO 8601 is an international standard covering the worldwide exchange and communication of date and time-related data.) Ironically, (YYYY-MM-DD) is the way the logical Chinese have always spoken and written the date.

Americans in the US tend to presume the result of the world does as it does, which can sometimes prove beneficial. A few years ago, a friend of mine had an Australian Greyhound coach “ride anywhere” ticket with expiry of 12 June 2010 written as 12/06/2010. When he got to America, he got a further six months’ use out of it because American Greyhound staff read it as expiry December 6, 2010.

On a lighter note, a time-related anecdote:

A worried Alfonse arrives at the doctor’s office and says: “Doc, you’ve got to help me! I’m shrinking! Two weeks ago, I was six foot four; then last week I was five foot ten, and today I’m only five foot two!” 

The doctor flips through his appointment book, and says, “Well, things are pretty busy around here, but I can fit you in a week from Tuesday.” 

“A week from – oh no, that’s too late! I’ll be shorter than my poodle by then! You have to help me now!” 

The doctor replies: “I appreciate your concern, but I’m afraid you’re just going to have to be a little patient.”

Clive Williams is a Canberra columnist