A bar or pub joke is a very common type of joke cycle – that being a collection of jokes about a single situation that display consistent narrative structure, says “Whimsy” columnist CLIVE WILLIAMS. 

WITH a bar or pub joke, having an alcoholic drink is usually the common factor and the humorous aspect is usually the unexpected ending. 

According to Scott McNeely in the “Ultimate Book of Jokes”, the first bar joke was published in 1952 in “The New York Times”.

The bar joke has an infinite number of variations. They include puns or word plays followed by any number of different punchlines – such as “a man with dyslexia walks into a bra”.

Without any more profound analysis – here’s a few other examples:

Fred goes to a pub and asks the barman for the wifi password. He replies, “youhavetobuyabeerfirst”. So Fred has a beer and asks again for the password. To his surprise, the barman gives him the same answer.

An old man is fishing in a puddle outside a pub. “Poor old fool,” thinks a well-dressed gent, so he invites the old man inside for a drink. As they sip their whiskeys, the gent thinks he’ll humour the old man and asks: “So how many have you caught today?” The old man replies: “You’re the eighth.”

Two lawyers walk into a pub. They order a couple of drinks and take their sandwiches out of their briefcases and begin to eat them. Seeing this, the irritated publican exclaims: “Excuse me, but you can’t eat your own sandwiches in here!” The two lawyers look at each other, shrug their shoulders, and exchange sandwiches.

A man goes into a bar with his pet newt named Tiny. “A pint for me and a half for Tiny, please,” he says to the landlord. The landlord asks: “Why did you name him Tiny?” The man replies, “Because he’s my newt”.

Hugo works in a pub next to a hospital. One day a patient comes in wearing a hospital gown and holding a drip on a stand still connected to his veins. Hugo asks him how he can help and bizarrely the patient says, “Can I have two pints of lager, two pints of Guinness, and six shots of tequila?” Hugo prepares the drinks and puts them on the bar. The patient downs them in order, finishing with the shots of tequila. He then looks at Hugo sadly and says: “I really shouldn’t have drunk all that with what I’ve got.” Concerned, Hugo says, “Why what have you got?” The patient says: “About three dollars fifty.”

A penguin walks into a bar and asks the barman: “Has my brother been in for a drink today?” The barman looks at the penguin and says: “I’m not sure. What’s he look like?”

Ed is in a pub when a bogan calls him a cheapskate. So Ed throws the bogan’s drink in his face.

A polar bear shuffles into a pub and orders a pint of beer. The barman says: “That’ll be 10 dollars, please.” The bear pays and takes a seat. Bemused, the barman approaches and says, “This is amazing, we don’t get many polar bears in here!” The bear replies: “I’m not surprised – at 10 dollars a beer”.

A Texan swaggers into a pub in Ireland, addresses the regular drinkers and says: “I hear you Irish are great drinkers. I’ll give 500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back.” The room goes quiet and no one takes up the Texan’s offer. One Irishman even leaves. Fifteen minutes later the Irishman returns and taps the Texan on the shoulder. “Is your offer still on?” asks the Irishman. The Texan says: “You bet” and tells the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. The Irishman downs all 10 of the pint glasses back-to-back. The pub patrons cheer as the Texan rocks back in amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the money and says: “If yuh don’t mind me asking, where did you go for the 15 minutes you were gone?” The Irishman replies, “Ah well… I had to go to another pub to see if I could do it”.

Clive Williams is a Canberra columnist