EDDIE WILLIAMS has an idea that will bring covid confidence to cinemagoers keen to sit in the dark with some space around them… 

ANYONE who’s been to a cinema lately knows that aside from grabbing a choc top, there are three important things to do before watching a film in the covid era.

Firstly, buy your ticket online in advance. Secondly, actually sit in the seats allocated. And thirdly, glare at anyone who appears to be thinking about sitting right next to you – for heaven’s sake, leave a space!

That last one is really the cinema’s responsibility. And as far as I can tell, Canberra’s cinemas are leaving gaps between groups when they sell tickets. They’re doing their bit to meet capacity limits and to keep social distancing alive.

But some moviegoers don’t seem so fussed. On two recent visits, I’ve observed a spate of people sitting in the wrong seats. 

And as soon as one person is in the wrong seat, someone else ends up in another wrong seat. Eventually, the domino effect means that everybody in the cinema is in the wrong seat, desperately trying to avoid sitting next to a stranger, and living in fear of yet another person wandering into the theatre saying: “I think you’re in my seat”.

I’m not entirely sure why some people ignore their ticket and sit in the wrong seat, although I strongly suspect that some are taking advantage of lax cinema staffing and simply wandering into cinemas without a ticket at all. Or maybe people just misread their ticket or their seat – it is dark, after all.

There would seem to be a very simple solution to all these problems. Usher. No, not the singer. You know, those people dressed in black carrying small torches. The ones that used to check your movie ticket and escort you to your seat. That’s YOUR seat, not someone else’s.

I can already hear the naysayers – how can the struggling cinema industry afford to take on extra staff at a time like this? The cost would destroy them faster than you can say “popcorn”!

Well, that might be true. But with ongoing debate around how to support the hospitality and entertainment sectors once JobKeeper ends, here’s a chance for government to step in with some targeted support.

Hot off the heels of JobSeeker, JobMaker, HomeBuilder, PotatoBaker and all the others, I present to you… MovieMaker! A government-funded program to help cinemas employ at least one usher at every movie, boosting employment, ensuring a more covid-safe environment (give the usher a mask), and giving Australians the confidence to return to the cinema. Within covid capacity limits, of course.

Bringing ushers back to the movies? I’m giving that five stars.

Eddie Williams is an award winning producer at 2CC.