Legal columnist HUGH SELBY offers a learned review of a new book likely to ruffle feathers as it pokes fun at the Australian legal profession.

The time of giving is late December and for those looking for something a bit different, well priced, wryly funny and with a lifespan in years, not weeks, Dr Ralf Bungle’s just released A Field Guide to the Birds of Australian Law is the answer for anyone with a lawyer, or even a budding lawyer within cooee.

It is especially handy for all those who cannot face giving or receiving another collection of the year’s best cartoons, sport-related biographies, or a “How to succeed…” in this, that and the other.

His Field Guide to the Birds of Australian Law explains our legal world by looking at the bird species that inhabit it, each one having its own approach to the law they practice. Some we know well: “the beaks” being the old judges, along with the jailbirds and the stool pigeons.

In this guide, we learn about important species, such as the Pointless Warbler, the Jowly Babbler and, a close relative of the Spoonbills and Hornbills, the Small Legal Bill (which is probably extinct).

Bungle (a pseudonym) explains the myth of the Australian Legal Eagle, and the supernatural aura of the Esteemed Merlin. He traces the history of our birds of the law, from the colonial era to the present day. The birds of the law, fly, mate, nest, crash and are predatory on each other as they look for ever better perches. 

This book is the definitive and only useful guide to our species of lawyers, and what talents and dangers are to be seen not only among lawyers anywhere in Australia, but also in judges, magistrates, and tribunal members. 

It explains the Old Guard, the Birds of Pay, and illustrates the pain of working with or against an Angry Bird. You will be taken aback by the Great Chocolate Wheel of Judicial Appointments and be bewitched by the Birds of Paradox. 

Bungle’s Guide is akin to an almanac, but restricted to lawyers. For them it is a conversation starter in the coffee queue: “What sort of bird is Judge Smith?” or “Do you think [so and so] has lost their feathers and so is hard to class?”

For barristers it is essential last-minute preparation when waiting to catch the crowded lift to chambers or court, or a talking point with a new instructor. 

It will help any lawyer’s family both to understand their working world and to find appropriate quotes with which to put down any family member showing signs of legal arrogance. 

It is meticulously researched, with the same attention to footnoting as you will find in any High Court of Australia decision. It reads effortlessly, and you will laugh at the advocacy stumbles and the acerbic exchanges between bench and twittering counsel.

Dr Ralf Bungle is a pseudonym. You’ll find that unsurprising: the truth can hurt those who tell it. He has had a working lifetime in the law, a yen to explain his surroundings and a passion for very heavy music to stamp on his soul.

I did a bit of digging, further into the mound. He has the credentials and experience to write his guide, so much so that a chief justice has penned a short foreword.

Apart from lawyers and their carers this is a guide that will fascinate other professions – working or retired – such as, medical, accounting, IT, teaching and engineering. Handwrite a note to each of them, that says: “Here at last is a guide that explains the legal profession. Read it and weep”.

Available via goatpriestpress.com.au or email goatpriestpress@outlook.com. It is also available on Amazon Kindle.