IF I hadn’t undertaken to review three new films each week, I would never have wasted my time with this, the sixth film featuring teenage mutant ninja turtles. But this week, there was no alternative!

In the 26 years since the first one, the plot has ossified and what seems like a squillion other movies have plagiarised it, from James Bond to my unvarying choice for the worst movie ever made, “Independence Day” (to which a sequel looms).

Defining the target audience is an unrewarding exercise. It’s improbable that single-digit kids would comprehend it. To kids in early adolescence, it might well be simplistic. An audience of late adolescents would find it lacking in meatiness. Adults would have two choices. Silly fun. Or a total no-brainer.

It’s the same old plot – a bid for world domination, this time by the Shredder who’s escaped from prison. A mad scientist. A new warlord, Krang, the Shredder’s boss, an ugly little devil in whom ambition exceeds merit.

That’s somehow a paradigm for the franchise. Its use-by date has passed. Hopefully terminally.

At Hoyts, Palace Electric, Hoyts and Limelight

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